the freedom not to sleep
2024, july 8, berlin
when i was a kid i’d sometimes stub my toe on a threshold and some grown-up would say: ‘you’re tired. time for bed.’ that was the terror of adults—being told what i feel. and even if it was true, even if i really was tired, why did it have to mean bed?
sometimes staying awake, especially when you’re tired, is the most delicious thing.
the other day i asked mama when in her life she felt the greatest freedom. ‘right now,’ she said. i asked why. ‘because i can stay up as long as i want, i can go to bed when i want, and i can get up when i want.’
the freedom of becoming a grown-up is breaking loose from grown-up doctrines.