squeezed in london
2025, december 4
inside my book the you collection
you were in london, jumping on the bed in a negligee. you danced in front of the mirror in london, wrapping a towel around yourself. the trip from the hotel to the airport took you longer than the flight from london to berlin. on the way from the hotel to the airport, you were in four or five different vehicles, sweating your soul out in your insanely hot green winter coat and your winter layers with rain pants. you felt like the sweat was some kind of detox cure.
you were wedged in between lots of people and thought this would be a perfect moment to have a panic attack, and at the same time, in some way, it felt like a kind of cure: three hours of travel time, squeezed in, unable to do anything, no headphones, no reading, because everything was too cramped and sweaty. in some way it was like a cure and like being only in the moment.
all around you there were just people and their body parts. you kept noticing all the hands holding on to poles and bars in the tube. you found it striking how polite everyone really is when they queue for the tube, how they enter the carriage in order, and if there is no space left, they simply stay on the platform and wait for the next one. and if someone does cut the line — like at the airport, where someone ducked under the security belts and skipped the queue — no one says anything. that is also a kind of politeness: when someone breaks a rule, people just stand there, calm and friendly, without getting upset. either they think the person must have a reason, that you only crawl under the belt for a good reason, or they immediately focus on the essentials of life. that’s how it seems to you.
at the check-in for the flight, they asked you if it was okay for you to sit at the emergency exit, and you were surprised they even placed you there, because you thought they only put men travelling alone there, since you’re supposed to have the strength to open the door in case of an accident. you simply said yes, you were okay with it. you found it remarkable that the staff checking you in also thought this was fine. in some way, after being completely sweaty and having survived london public traffic, you felt that they could now also trust a small person like you to lift the emergency door if needed.